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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022292">Abed's Uncontrollable Goodbyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iuciernaga/pseuds/Iuciernaga'>Iuciernaga</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:28:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,098</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iuciernaga/pseuds/Iuciernaga</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>These are all the times that Abed says goodbye to Troy, and the one time he says hello.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir, [Troy Barnes/Britta Perry]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>143</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Abed's Uncontrollable Goodbyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This work covers the events of the entire series, so beware of spoilers if you haven't watched all seasons. That being said, enjoy the free angst!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you want to join a study group?”</p><p>The guy sitting in front of him turns around just a little. </p><p>"Will there be someone to do my homework?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Will there be someone to do my homework in exchange for butt stuff?"</p><p>“The chances of that happening are extremely low, but I guess it's plausible.”</p><p>“Fair enough. I’m in.”</p><p>“Cool. We’ll meet at the library at five.”</p><p>The guy looks at him with a raised eyebrow. Abed notices that he is wearing a letter jacket, which might be an interesting addition to the group. He takes his messenger bag and stands up.</p><p>“See you later.”</p><p>“Whatever.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>"I can't believe I wasted all that time on that stupid silent protest when I should've been meeting chicks."</p><p>"It truly was a waste of time and a good outfit."</p><p>“Yeah, that’s a cool shirt.”</p><p>“Thanks. It’s Jeff’s.”</p><p>Troy Barnes raises his eyebrow at him, for the eighth time in the two weeks they have known each other, then shakes his head.</p><p>"I can't believe I missed the Alien marathon." He mumbles.</p><p>Abed looks up, a tiny bit surprised. “I wanted to watch that, too.”</p><p>Troy looks startled. “I- I didn’t mean that. I mean, I don’t actually <em>like</em> those nerdy movies.”</p><p>“I do.” Abed states. “You may come over tomorrow and we can re-do the maraton. I’m sure we can find the movies online.”</p><p>There’s a bit of silence. Probably because half of Greendale's alumni are already at home and the other half are participating in a silent protest. Troy is kicking a rock as he walks. Abed’s hands are cold. There’s actually a cricket singing somewhere.</p><p>“Okay, man. I’ll come. I- I actually have the DVD of the first movie.”</p><p>“Nice.” Abed makes finger guns. Troy looks like he wants to mirror the gesture, but ultimately decides that he is too cool for that. They shake hands instead. It's weirdly formal.</p><p>“See you tomorrow.”</p><p>“Bye.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“I've been thinking, and I believe it’s time.” Abed says. They are sitting on the bleachers. Troy is in recess from his football training. He takes a lot of breaks whenever he feels like it because, according to him, he's already better than anyone at football without even trying. He also says that it's absolutely necessary for Abed to go with him because the moral support keeps him from getting bored and then skipping training completely.</p><p>“Time for what?”</p><p>“For us to have a handshake.”</p><p>Troy wipes the sweat off his forehead with the edge of his shirt. “Sweet. Let's do it. Maybe like this,” And he taps his chest twice, extending the other hand. Abed mirrors him. It’s surprisingly natural. The pulse of his own heart under his hand is steady.</p><p>“Perfect.”</p><p>“Yeah, I am.” Troy smiles at the horizon, fascinated by his own ego, and the coach blows the whistle.</p><p>“Barnes! Bring your lazy-ass here!”</p><p>Troy scoffs, but eventually gets up and returns to the field.</p><p>“I’ll be back.”</p><p>“Sure, bye.” Abed opens his laptop and continues working on his newest movie, the sun setting in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>They do marathons every Wednesday. Just the two of them.</p><p>“Troy.”</p><p>Troy jolts awake suddenly and starts throwing punches, aggressively half-asleep. Abed dodges them swiftly and gets up to turn off the TV.</p><p>“What happened? Did I fall asleep?” Abed nods and points to the drool mark Troy left on his shirt.</p><p>“Aw, man! I told you Harry Potter makes me sleepy!”</p><p>“It's okay. It’s kind of late, though. Maybe you should spend the rest of the night here.”</p><p>“Dude, you know I'd secretly enjoy <em>a lot</em> borrowing your Kickpuncher pajamas.” Troy smirks, patting his shoulder. Abed wonders if Troy is aware of how flirty he is all the time without even trying. Probably not. Case in point: His obliviousness to Annie’s infatuation. “But I have to get home to make sure Nana doesn’t fall asleep on the couch. If that happens, her back hurts the next morning and she gets super annoying for, like, a week.”</p><p>“That's fine. Be extra careful when riding your bike, cause I think the Dean is attempting to make a surprise mini golf in the whole campus and carved a lot of holes in the parking lot.”</p><p>“Noted. Thanks, man.” Troy puts on his jacket. It’s not the letter one. “Hey, we really should do a sleepover someday.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Abed agrees distractedly, and turns on the TV. The door clicks shut.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Abed helps Troy move in with Pierce. He carries the heaviest boxes and this time Troy doesn't complain or try to start a competition.</p><p>“This mansion is kind of scary, dude. Gives me haunted house vibes.”</p><p>“It is.” Abed agrees. “Maybe we can film a Scooby-Doo movie in here.”</p><p>“That'd be awesome! Do you think the guys would be up for it?”</p><p>Abed starts listing with his fingers. “We can easily convince Annie. Jeff is more susceptible than he looks. Maybe Shirley. Pierce would enjoy being the bad guy. I’m not that sure about Britta.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Troy strokes his chin. “Who would be Scooby?”</p><p>“Doesn’t Pierce have a dog?”</p><p>“Uhm, I don’t think so.”</p><p>“Weird. I’m pretty sure I saw a dog near the stairs next to your room.”</p><p>Troy shudders. “Oh god. Could it have been… A <em>ghost dog</em>?”</p><p>Abed ponders. “Maybe. But I’m inclined to think a ghost dog would be harmless. And a lot of fun. And potentially be a <em>talking-ghost-dog</em>.”</p><p>Troy lights up at this. Abed hopes he's got rid of any possibility of Troy having nightmares about ghosts of killer dogs.</p><p>“Well, I think that was it. See you on Wednesday, then?”</p><p>“Sure.” Troy says. They do their handshake and Abed is turning around when he hears Troy say his name hurriedly.</p><p>“Yes, Troy?”</p><p>“If there’s actually a ghost… I mean, I know there isn't, but if I hear something weird, is it okay if I call you? Just so you can keep the footage, you know, and then make a movie like Paranormal Activity-”</p><p>“You can call me or come over whenever you want.” Abed reassures. Because somehow, he understands Troy perfectly. He doesn’t even have to try. “Anytime. I’m always up for hijinks and homages.”</p><p>Troy seems to regain his confidence due to Abed’s words, and he suddenly stands taller and prouder and stronger. Quarterback and prom king in all his glory, but with a certain softness in his eyes this time around.</p><p>“Great. Thank you, Abed. You're the best.”</p><p>Abed shoots some finger guns and then leaves. He thinks about his original assumption of jumping the shark, and for almost the first time in his life, he wonders if maybe he got it wrong.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Troy is crying with his head pressed into his hoodie. Abed tries to pat him on the back to show emotional support. He's not sure he's doing very well, but Troy seems to accept his awkwardness and is just grateful to have someone to hold on to dramatically. It's understandable.</p><p>“She always used to bring us sandwiches… I didn’t even like tuna sandwiches but I accepted them to be polite and also because they reminded me of that funny dialogue in Lilo and Stitch!” Troy sobs. Abed's hand goes up to Troy’s neck, and he just sorts of pets his hair softly. It feels slightly more appropriate. Troy sighs shakily. “How could she die so suddenly? I mean-” He hiccups. “I could die tomorrow and I haven’t even watched the whole Star Trek original series. There are just so many episodes!”</p><p>Abed shushes him. He really doesn’t know what to say. For a moment he considers channeling Jeff, or Britta, or even Don Draper. But then he just decides to be himself. It’s what Troy would prefer in a moment of crisis.</p><p>“Pierce’s mom dying is really an unexpected turn. Since the majority of the study group didn't even get the chance to know her, the purpose of her death would probably be to reflect the reactions and issues of the characters that are actually connected to her. That would be only you and Pierce. Thus, you both might take this as a chance to reflect <em>and</em> bond, understanding that life is finite, and cherishing every second of it as an opportunity to build the story you want to tell while you live, and to be passed on once you die.”</p><p>Troy starts sobbing louder. “Damn, man, that was so deep and meaningful. Like, now not only your eyes, but also your words are gentle and mysterious!”</p><p>“It was?”</p><p>“It was.”</p><p>Abed smiles a little.</p><p>“Hey man, could I ask you like the biggest favor on earth?”</p><p>Abed wants him to specify. He agrees nonetheless. “Sure. What?”</p><p>“Could you… check up on Nana? It’s just that with all of this I can’t stop thinking about her, but I can’t go right now because I have to wait till the people from the mortuary come because Pierce is acting like nothing has happened! So I have to take care of everything, and it’s kind of annoying because the neighbours think I’m Pierce’s boy servant or something, and suddenly I’m super worried about Nana. I know it’s stupid, and I know that Pierce’s mom has nothing to do with my grandma, but-”</p><p>“I’ll go. I’ll bring her some pistachio ice cream. You said she secretly loves that, right?”</p><p>Troy puts a hand on his shoulder. “She does. Thank you so much, man. What would I do without you?”</p><p>Abed pats his hand. “Without me, I have some theories, yet I’m not entirely sure. But <em>with me</em>, you're going to watch the whole Star Trek original series next week.”</p><p>And with that, he leaves. Troy's relieved laughter replaces the Daybreak theme in his head for a couple hours.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p><br/>
He always liked Britta’s hair. It's very shiny and artistically messy, which sums up her character very well.</p><p>“You jumped up dramatically the last time I tried to touch your hair like that,” Drunk Jeff is pretty one-dimensional. He mainly talks about himself without bothering to implement sarcasm or wit. “Why would you let <em>Abed</em> do it?”</p><p>“Well, ‘cause it's nice to be touched in a platonic, non-creepy way!” Drunk Britta is extra touchy, but he knows she has always had a soft spot for him. Abed is not sure if it's because his adorableness reminds her of her brother or if his aloofness reminds her of her father. “Plus, he never does this. It's like when a cat suddenly decides to act nice to you and you have to stand still and let it be, or it will never happen again. Right, Troy?”</p><p>Troy glances at them through the rear-view mirror. Abed can tell he is still angry.</p><p>“I guess.”</p><p>“I really like blonde hair,” Slightly tipsy Abed likes to share stuff. “And Farscape.”</p><p>“Aw, thanks Abed! What’s Farscape?”</p><p>“I won’t have sex with you, Britta.”</p><p>“What?!” Drunk Jeff and Britta squeak. Sober Troy is silent.</p><p>“A guy in the bar tried to get me to have sex with him by encouraging me to talk about Farscape. Then I said I didn’t want to, and he threw his drink at my face. I infered that Farscape may actually be a sex-code.”</p><p>“I infer it’s more of a <em>virginity</em> code.”</p><p>“Shut up, Jeff, let people enjoy things! And that is so wrong on so many levels!”</p><p>“Whatever. We could sue him, I’m a lawyer. I’m pretty sure that there says something about geek stuff in the constitution. Right? Who am I kidding, I don’t even know what Farscape is. Or the constitution." Jeff chuckles. "Or maybe I do. Yeah. Actually I know everything in the whole lawyer and non-lawyer world. I just know <em>everything.</em>” He finishes his monologue and then almost falls asleep and hits his head on the car window.</p><p>“It's okay. It was my fault to some degree.”</p><p>“It’s actually not okay at all." Troy finally breaks his silence. "It’s the total opposite from okay. I wish I could come back there and give him the Forest Whitaker eye.”</p><p>“Yeah, Troy! You’re right. Let’s get back and kick that guy’s ass!”</p><p>Abed pats Britta’s head and she calms a bit her chaotic energy. She smells like watermelon and cheap vodka, which is strangely comforting.</p><p>“Don’t worry. It wasn’t the guy’s fault. I just wouldn’t kiss, or consequently have sex, with a man with a moustache.”</p><p>“We should sue him for having creepy facial hair. We could sue his barber, or even his mother. Damn that would be genius. I’m a lawyer-”</p><p>“Oh my god. Could you stop making everything about you for five minutes?”</p><p>“Could you stop elbowing me?”</p><p>“Guys! Enough. We are at Greendale.”</p><p>“Nice.” Abed extricates himself from Britta’s tipsy embrace and opens the car door. He walks next to the driver’s seat and leans on the open window. Troy looks up at him.</p><p>“You know, now that I’m twenty-one, I lowkey wanted to grow a moustache. Would it really make me look creepy?”</p><p>“I never said it would look creepy. I said I wouldn’t kiss a man who has one.”</p><p>Troy frowns. Britta and Jeff are suspiciously silent. They are probably making out again. Abed peeks out to see them behind Troy's shoulder. They're not. They're just quietly staring at them.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Oh. I’ve never kissed a man, but if I do, I don’t think I'd find appealing the feeling of facial hair. I don't really like rough textures.”</p><p>Troy nods. “Makes sense.”</p><p>“You should really get that moustache or the whole beard if you want to, anyway. It's a nice feature to demonstrate the passage of time and gives a tougher, mature appearance that you'd certainly enjoy.”</p><p>“Thanks, man. But then nobody would want to kiss me.” Troy pouts just a little, which means he is officially back to his unintentionally flirty self. He still looks a little bummed out, though.</p><p>Abed reaches out to touch his cheekbone. His skin is incredibly soft and warm.</p><p>“I think I would.”</p><p>Troy smiles at him, and his jaw moves under his fingers. Abed caresses it softly, strangely fascinated.</p><p>“A kissing scene between you and I would be groundbreaking. I had never actually thought about it. Wait. Once, I had a dream in which we made out. Well, you kissed me. Then I kissed back. It was pretty enjoyable. It also had unusual circumstances and setting because we were both zombies. And Abba was playing in the background. Oh, and we had telepathy, which truly improved the mechanics of kissing.”</p><p>“Are you kidding me? I had the exact same dream!”</p><p>“Was it a week after Halloween?”</p><p>“Yes it was!”</p><p>“Troy and Abed dream together!” They sing and grin at each other. Now Abed really wants to kiss him.</p><p>“Oh my god. Are you actually going to make out in front of us?”</p><p>“Yeah, Abed. Control yourself. We’re not a coat racket!”</p><p>“You two are the most annoying drunks I’ve ever met.” Troy sighs, but he looks more relaxed now.</p><p>“It’s okay, Troy. I’m pretty sure you already had an emotional moment with Annie when you dropped her off at her apartment, so we would be overexploiting the pattern in here.”</p><p>“You're right. But this is somehow… different?”</p><p>“How is it different?”</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>“Me neither.” Abed frowns. For starters, he doesn’t even know what's happening here. This time, he has no references. Maybe the morale of the episode is just: Alcohol makes people horny.</p><p>“Well, I’m gonna drop off these two. Drink some water. I’ll see you around.”</p><p>“Sure. Happy December 4th.”</p><p>They do their handshake again. His own heartbeat under his palm is just slightly unsteady.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Why is your whole body covered in paint except your face? It’s the same with Annie-”</p><p>Abed nods. It must look weird for an outsider.</p><p>“Oh, Troy, it’s nothing! It’s just a coincidence-” Annie is extremely flushed.</p><p>“I didn’t say it was something. It just looks funny!” Troy laughs. Then he stops. “Wait- why are you all defensive about it - Oh my god! You two were kissing when the sprinklers got activated, wasn’t it? I mean, I may not be that bright but I can put two and two together!”</p><p>“Nobody is denying it. It was part of the Star Wars homage.”</p><p>“Then why is Annie twirling her hair? She did that to me for a month when I mistakenly held her hand during freshman year!”</p><p>Annie gasps.</p><p>“Yeah, she’s acting weird. It’s because of the whole Han Solo thing. She’ll get over it, eventually. She still has this whole romantic arc with Jeff to develop, after all.”</p><p>
  <em>“Abed!”</em>
</p><p>Troy gets up. “I think I’m leaving. I have some.. stuff… to do.”</p><p>“Don’t you want to shower in my dorm before? Taking the paint off is gonna take a while and you get lonely in long showers. I could sit outside and read you my police drama script meanwhile.”</p><p>“Nah, I’m fine. The stuff I have to do is like… super urgent.”</p><p>“Okay, cool. Goodbye.”</p><p>“...Yeah. Super urgent important matters. Bye.”</p><p>Annie frowns. “That was weird.”</p><p>“I thought we established that you're the one acting weird.”</p><p>“Oh, shut up, Abed!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“You spend so much time here.”</p><p>“Mhm.”</p><p>“It’s like if you lived with me.”</p><p>“No shit, Sherlock-” Troy's words are muffled on the pillow. He already stole the whole pillow and Abed’s head is resting on the bare mattress. Troy gets really cranky when he’s sleepy.</p><p>“We should live together.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know. That’s exactly what I said a year ago.”</p><p>“You were right the whole time. We really can’t jump the shark. We are way above that.”</p><p>Troy doesn’t open his eyes, but he smiles. Enormously. “We are so much cooler than everything. We <em>are</em> the sharks. Or maybe dolphins. I like them more. Or <em>baby seals</em>.”</p><p>“Troy and Abed move together?”</p><p>Troy attempts to do their handshake, but he is apparently too groggy for that and his arm falls limp over Abed instead. It eventually settles comfortably over his waist.</p><p>“Sure, buddy. But for now, please, Troy and Abed sleep together.” Troy grimaces. “That didn’t come out right. I mean, let’s just keep sleeping. ‘Mkay?”</p><p>“Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”</p><p>“Right. See you tomorrow.”</p><p>“It’s already tomorrow. It 's 7 a.m.”</p><p>“Bye, Abed.” Troy huddles more on the pillow and the thumb that rests on his hip caresses him distractedly. In a matter of seconds he's sound asleep and drooling again.</p><p>“Bye, Troy.”</p><p>He also stole all the blankets. Abed doesn’t even try to get them back. Troy already radiates enough warmth.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Abed,” Troy says through the phone. “Do we have Lucky charms at home?”</p><p>“Yes, we have.”</p><p>“Whatever, I’m buying more.”</p><p>“Cool.”</p><p>“Do we have a stuffed dinosaur at home?”</p><p>“No, Troy, we don’t.”</p><p>“Do we really need one?”</p><p>“Why are you asking?”</p><p>“Annie says we should always ask that to ourselves before spending money.”</p><p>“It’s not unnecessary. You love stuffed animals. Is it a T-Rex?”</p><p>“Nah, it’s a triceratops.”</p><p>“Then we definitely need it.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Triceratops are my favorite.”</p><p>“Yay! I’m on it.”</p><p>“Nice.”</p><p>“Do we have beer at home?”</p><p>“No. We don’t drink that much beer though.”</p><p>“Yeah, but it looks cool to have some on the fridge in case Jeff comes over.”</p><p>“You’re right. Buy a dozen.”</p><p>“Abed?”</p><p>“Yeah, Troy?”</p><p>“Do we have shampoo?”</p><p>“No, we don’t.”</p><p>“Do we really need it?”</p><p>“Not really. I can dress up as Batman and steal some from the landlord’s apartment. I’m actually pretty bored.”</p><p>“Awesome! Have fun! Kickpunch his ass! Wait, that’s not really necessary.”</p><p>“It really isn’t. Bye, Troy.”</p><p>“Bye, Abed.” He hangs up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>There’s something off after the whole impersonators business. Abed just feels confused. Like he is the wrong place. Or body. Or timeline.</p><p>“Still best friends. Always.”</p><p>“Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”</p><p>“Still gonna go to the Dreamatorium?”</p><p>“Yeah, but I think I’m gonna play by myself right now, if that’s okay.”</p><p>“Cool. Okay.”</p><p>Abed avoids the handshake because he doesn’t want to feel the beat of his heart against his palm. He knows it’s not as pleasantly steady as usual.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Jeff puts the magic friendship hats on their heads for the first time, and they take them off synchronously.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Jeff. But I think this matter is a lot more serious than that."</p><p>Jeff complains and doesn’t have the perfect speech that Abed kind of expects, and then leaves the Dean’s office in a way that looks almost like a tantrum. The Dean goes after him, because of course he does.</p><p>Pavel is standing in a corner of the room, holding a camera. “Guys?”</p><p>They both grunt in response.</p><p>“Just for documentary purposes… could you elaborate on how the magic friendship hats look like?”</p><p>“Well,” Troy begins. He’s still frowning, his arms folded. “Mine kind of looks like a magician hat. You know? Like, you can produce bunnies and candy out of it.”</p><p>“And Abed’s?”</p><p>“Mine is large and stripped. Like the one from The Cat With a Hat.”</p><p>“That’s sorta cool.” Troy admits reluctantly.</p><p>“Yeah it is.”</p><p>“Mine has a Batman pattern.”</p><p>Abed perks up and looks at him sideways. “Mine has a Spiderman pattern. Wanna exchange?”</p><p>“Why would I?”</p><p>“For aesthetic purposes.”</p><p>“Yeah. Okay. Whatever. Not that we are gonna wear it or something, but the large one would make me look taller.”</p><p>“Exactly what I meant by aesthetic purposes. Also, Spiderman is your favorite.”</p><p>“He really is.”</p><p>They look at each other and for a moment they almost smile. But then they remember they are in the middle of a war and mad at each other, and Abed thinks about how much it's gonna hurt when Troy finally leaves because obviously he is gonna, because this is just a free trial of what’s going to happen eventually. It's only logical.</p><p>“Here, take it.”</p><p>They both pick up the imaginary hats from the floor and exchange them. Then they dramatically toss them away.</p><p>“Adios.” Says Troy. Abed feels angry, and dizzy, and disoriented, and so betrayed. He thinks he is going to throw up. Or to, completely out of character, throw punches.</p><p>“Hasta luego.” He says at last. Because if he learned at least one thing from Chang in Spanish, is that saying <em>hasta luego</em> is temporary, and <em>adios</em> is permanent. And he will never, ever, be ready for that.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“I know you hate it when people do this in movies.”</p><p>Abed can’t even utter a response. <em>This isn’t a movie,</em> he thinks. <em>This is a series.</em></p><p>Except it doesn’t feel like TV anymore. It feels much like reality, and reality feels much like being kicked in the stomach.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Troy swore he would never, ever again, fix an air conditioning system. Big Brother probably heard him and is now punishing them by literally freezing their apartment.</p><p>“Troy,” Abed swings the Ex-Dreamatorium door open. “The circumstances require that we share body heat.”</p><p>“Abed! It’s not what it looks like!”</p><p>“Oh, hi Britta.” Abed didn’t know she was there, which is why he interrupted so abruptly, but he is generally aware that she and Troy have been sleeping together for almost a week. Britta is predictably into the secret sex trope. He pretends to be oblivious, because the montage of Britta climbing the fire escape and swinging in a rope in her underwear just to pretend she didn’t spend the night with Troy truly provides an action shift to the genre. “It looks like you stayed the night to help Troy maintain his body heat due to the incident with the air conditioner. It’s understandable.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s exactly it!”</p><p>“Well, in that case, I’ll have to change my plans. Troy, don’t you have extra blankets that have not been used in the fort by any chance?”</p><p>“No, buddy I’m sorry. But you don’t have to do that! You can still come over here. There’s a lot of space.”</p><p>“Or do you mean.. of <em>time</em>?”</p><p>Troys lightens up. “Hurry up inspector, the blorgons are going to turn you into an ice sculpture and then use you to decorate their weddings!”</p><p>“<em>Troy!</em>”</p><p>“Come on, Britta. Look at those skinny trembling limbs! If he freezes to death it’s on you!”</p><p>Abed shrugs, and Britta lifts the covers.</p><p>“Fine. Come here, Abed. Let’s do the body heat thing. It’s not going to make you uncomfortable?”</p><p>“Why would it? Troy and I used to do this all the time.”</p><p>“Well.. I - didn't know that. But it makes a lot of sense.”</p><p>“Troy can be in the middle if you prefer that.”</p><p>“It’s the same for me, I guess?”</p><p>“This is awesome!” Troy beams when Abed climbs up next to him. “It’s like being double hugged!”</p><p>“It’s more like a PG rated threesome.”</p><p>“Abed!”</p><p>“<em>Abed!</em>”</p><p>“Who yelled my name? Besides Britta,”</p><p>“I think Annie is looking for you.”</p><p>“He’s here!” Troy yells back. The door swings open. Annie is covered in blankets and hugging a stuffed elephant.</p><p>“Oh, Britta is in here?”</p><p>“Why are you not surprised that Abed is here too?”</p><p>“Well, they always do this.”</p><p>Troy and Abed give Britta a look of<em> we told you so</em>.</p><p>“Do you want to share body heat too, Annie? There’s still room for one.” Abed wiggles his eyebrows, if only 'cause it’s already a running gag.</p><p>“Guys!” She blushes. Britta shrugs and smiles encouragingly. “That’s highly inappropria- oh, what the hell! I’m freezing.” She jumps in and wraps herself around Abed. Her nose is alarmingly cold.</p><p>They all huddle together. Abed lets Annie snake an arm around his waist, and her breath is pleasantly warm on his neck. Somehow, Troy’s left hand is also pressed in Abed’s back and is rubbing intently, creating friction on his pajama shirt. Troy’s other hand is holding Britta’s and trying to warm it with his breath. Abed doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he extends his arm and is surprised to see that it can cover both Troy and Britta simultaneously.</p><p>“Mm. This is actually so nice.” Britta mumbles sleepily. Abed can feel her breathing under his fingertips. He smiles a bit. “We are such a weird, small, dysfunctional cuddly family.”</p><p>“Are we? Is this what families do?”</p><p>“We are missing Jeff and Shirley anyway.” Annie points out. Her whole frame is so small. Abed looks at her tiny, delicate hand and compares it with the sensation of Troy's large, strong one running up and down his spine. It provides a totally different feeling. “Pierce is completely out of the picture.”</p><p>“Ew, yeah.”</p><p>“Shirley would be a fine addition for extra warmth and cuddles. But Jeff’s alleged <em>chemistry</em> with everyone would most likely turn this platonic situation into a potentially sexual scenario.”</p><p>“Isn’t it already? I mean, because of Troy and Britta-”</p><p>“Shhh!”</p><p>“...super close friendship?” Annie finishes lamely. Troy’s hand in his back stops moving. He has been uncharacteristically quiet. Abed looks down at him. He’s looking at Annie’s hand on his waist with a frown.</p><p>“You know what? You shouldn’t be risking your lives to die from fucking <em>hypothesis</em> because of me. I’m going to fix that shit.”</p><p>Troy rarely swears. Therefore, Annie gasps.</p><p>“Hypothermia,” Abed corrects, also in mild-shock. He moves his hand to pat Troy’s abdomen reassuringly. Troy squeezes his hand.</p><p>“Yeah, whatever. I’m going to do that. See you in like a couple hours. Or thirty seconds. I’m not sure.” And he gets up.</p><p>“That was… so hot.” Britta whispers once he leaves, and then proceeds to snuggle against Abed like a cat. Annie nods behind him. He makes sure the sheets are properly tucked around the three of them, and that Annie and Britta stop trembling. Then he tries to sleep. His entire body is tingling, and he isn’t sure why.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s Saturday, which means Sabbath for Annie, and Cartoons Day ft. Special Drink for Troy and Abed.</p><p>“Since we finished watching Ultimate Spiderman last week, I suggest we start watching Ducktales.”</p><p>“Awesome! I love Ducktales!”</p><p>They do their handshake. Beneath his palm, Abed’s heart is beating strong and rhythmically, as it should. But then he glances at Troy and he looks guilty. He is making those puppy eyes that somehow are as effective as Annie’s Disney face.</p><p>“The thing is, today I promised Britta I would go with her to this protest against people protesting against protests? I’m not sure I completely get it, but it sounded important to her.”</p><p>“Oh, sure. We can watch it next week. Have fun.”</p><p>“Cool.” Troy grins. “See you around, buddy!”</p><p>“Bye-bye.”</p><p>It doesn’t feel quite right to have the Special Drink by himself. He saves it in the refrigerator and opens a can of beer instead.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>They go to Skeepers after the whole puppets episode.</p><p>“I think that what you did today was a very brave, selfless action.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s nice! But we all confessed in the end, it wasn’t just me.” Shirley says. It's obvious that she is pleased, nonetheless.</p><p>“I didn’t.”</p><p>“Did you lie, Abed?” Her voice is taking that passive-aggressive tone.</p><p>“No. But I wish I had emotional impulses to share my feelings and deepest thoughts just like all of you, even if it was due to psychoactive berries.”</p><p>“But you have them! You just gave me such a sweet compliment.”</p><p>“That wasn’t a compliment, that was a fact. You were the first to admit your secret out loud because you trusted us to all do the same. And we almost let you down.”</p><p>“You all did it in the end, which is what matters.” She pats his arm reassuringly. Abed looks at Troy, who's at the other end of the table making vampire fangs out of a pair of straws. “As a Christian, I’ve learned to understand and forgive.”</p><p>“You're great, Shirley.” He focuses back on her and pats her hand back. “Even though people say you use phrases like that to create guilt and manipulate, I really think you do your best to improve as a person everyday and help us become better people.”</p><p>“Aw,” Shirley and Annie coo in unison. Apparently Annie was paying attention too.</p><p>“Did Abed say something cute and emotional? Damn, I missed it!”</p><p>“Don’t worry Troy. We’ll get him a drink so he loosens up. After all, he owes us a secret.” Britta says. She gives him a wobbly smile, probably to let him know that she is just messing around.</p><p>“I wouldn’t suggest that if I were you, Britta. Last time Abed got a little drunk he almost ended up making out with your boyfriend.”</p><p>Troy chokes on his soda. Abed smiles, only because seeing Troy this level of flustered is a very rare sight.</p><p>“Jeff!” Shirley scolds.</p><p>“I’m just kidding. It was like a year ago.”</p><p>“Gay!” Pierce yells triumphantly.</p><p>“Pierce? When did you get here?”</p><p>“I’ve been here for hours. How could you not notice? There’s this talking squirrel on my shoulder that just won’t stop screaming.”</p><p>There is actually no squirrel on his shoulder.</p><p>“He might be still having the effects of the hallucinogenics. I think I'll take him to the hospital.”</p><p>“Oh god, Pierce. You're trying so hard to steal Britta’s buzzkiller gold medal.”</p><p>“I’m coming with you, Abed. I won’t let you go alone with this <em>crazy old man.</em>”</p><p>“We should all go.”</p><p>“Nah, it’s fine, Annie. Shirley and I can manage.”</p><p>“Be careful, and keep us updated. Anyway, if anything goes wrong, Britta and I are Pierce’s emergency contacts, so we’ll be noticed.”</p><p>“Aww!"</p><p>Jeff rolls his eyes. “Stop making me regret it.”</p><p>“All right. Bye, guys. Don’t do anything Jesus or I wouldn’t do!”</p><p>Troy places the straws in his teeth again, pointing at Pierce who is just letting himself be carried grumpily. Abed shoots him a finger gun. “Fun Vampire. Nice.”</p><p>“See you at home, buddy.” Troy says. It's almost unintelligible because of his fake fangs, but Abed understands perfectly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>It is a Christmas as good as any. They even got the chance to play with kittens.</p><p>“I can’t believe we have to give them back to the Dean. Can’t we just keep them? And change their names so they don’t have to live with the burden of being <em>Jeffreys?</em>”</p><p>“You know we can’t. It’s not the landlord I’m afraid of, it’s Annie.”</p><p>Troy pouts and holds the two kittens close to his face. They start licking him. It’s painfully adorable.</p><p>“What is it with you and the puppy eyes? You’ve been doing them a lot lately.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know. They’re irresistible. Although they don’t seem to work on Britta. I tried to pull them off yesterday so I could convince her of buying regular ice-cream instead of vegan gelato or whatever in hell that was, and she barely noticed! Can you believe that?”</p><p>“You know, as Annie says, Britta doesn’t count. She never responds to anything appropriately.”</p><p>“That's so true! But hey! Maybe she’ll want to adopt at least one of those? She loves cats even when they are ugly and one-eyed! And these are so cute!”</p><p>“I believe she loves her cats <em>specially</em> because they are ugly,”</p><p>“Well, yeah, she’s kind of the worst.” Troy smiles, and it looks so fond. “I’m gonna go tell her anyway. Maybe she’ll keep one, and we can raise it together and name it Chewbacca.”</p><p>“Smooth. Go for it.”</p><p>In times like this, he wonders again what could be happening in the darkest timeline. It definitely can’t be emotionally worse. Because in this universe, none of them tried to swallow a troll, yet he is the one who feels a lump in the throat; and none of them lacks an arm because of a fire, but he still feels that a part of him is missing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>He opens Troy’s bedroom door without knocking.</p><p>“Just to be clear, I didn’t somehow force you to break up with Britta, did I? That’s what you wanted from the beginning?”</p><p>Troy is laying on his back, his head hanging on the edge of his bed, and he appears to be reading an upside-down comic.</p><p>“Abed!” He sits up. “Yeah, I’m really sorry that I made you do that-”</p><p>“No problem. You already apologized, and it wasn’t even necessary. That’s how we work; we are a team, we are connected.”</p><p>Troy grins. Abed wonders if Britta or someone else ever kissed that smile. He is almost sure that the answer is no because that's Troy's exclusively-for-Abed smile.</p><p>“Just wanted to make sure I didn't unconsciously project my personal desires onto our Freaky Friday bit, altering the natural course of the plot.”</p><p>“Personal desires? Did you want us to break up?”</p><p>“No,” Abed says. Because it’s true. His least desired scenario would be to witness Troy with a broken heart.</p><p>Troy sighs. “Britta is so great.”</p><p>“Yes,” Abed says. Because it’s also true.</p><p>“But it had to be done.”</p><p>Abed nods solemnly. Suddenly he is aware that he is just hovering awkwardly on Troy’s doorstep. For some reason, he doesn’t dare to go in. He has felt uneasy in that room since it stopped being the dreamatorium.</p><p>“I’m so grateful to have you, man. I just love you so much.”</p><p>With Troy, those three words - or, this time, six - always come up organically. He smiles.</p><p>“We should buy new comics. You’ve read that one thirty-two times.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Troys laughs. “I’m trying to read it backwards so I can feel like it’s a new story.”</p><p>Abed will never stop being fascinated by how Troy’s mind works.</p><p>“Let’s go to the comic store tomorrow.”</p><p>“For sure!”</p><p>“Cool. Till tomorrow.”</p><p>“Till tomorrow.” Troy says, and Abed closes the door.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Creating the next billion-dollar social media app is exhausting and not that fun. Abed misses Greendale so much that he almost expects the Dean to appear magically in their living room wearing a Madonna costume, or something twelve times more extravagant. But it doesn’t happen. It’s just work, and work, and infinite numbers. And Troy distracting him constantly.</p><p>“Abed I’m so bored,”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“Abeeeeed! Come to the Dreamatorium with meeeee!”</p><p>“Why are you talking like a ghost?”</p><p>“It’s not a ghost! I’m just begging. Oh, but we could play to be ghosts!”</p><p>“Troy. You have to let me work on this or we will never be millionaires.”</p><p>“Ugh. I should get a job.”</p><p>“If you want to. But look at what having a job has made to Annie.”</p><p>“Annie’s not here.”</p><p>“Exactly. She’s so busy and stressed all the time. Plus, I need you for moral support and to bring me buttered noodles every four hours.”</p><p>“But I get bored the rest of the time and you don’t want to do anything with me, dude!”</p><p>“I really want to. But I have to create an income so we can stop worrying about money and just actually enjoy ourselves as we used to.”</p><p>Troy whines and slouches on the couch. “Why don’t we just move to Los Angeles and go to a movie studio and start telling everyone what a prodigy this guy Abed Nadir is, and then when everyone is talking about this Nadir guy you show up and everyone will instantly be amazed by you because of the rumors and then find out that you're actually the greatest TV writer on earth, and then -”</p><p>“That’s basically the plot of the episode of Arrested Development we watched last week.”</p><p>Troy gasps. “It’s true! I don’t even have original ideas anymore. Oh god, Abed. This is the worst. I know you're literally standing right there in front of me but I miss you so much, man!”</p><p>This is impossible. Troy will never stop distracting him. Abed is forced to pull out the heavy artillery. He gets closer and leans in.</p><p>“Are you flirting with me?” Abed says, changing his accent.</p><p>“What-”</p><p>“Are you <em>allowed</em> to flirt with me?”</p><p>“I’m not - Abed, what are you - Why are you making Clive Owen?!”</p><p>“Because it makes you flustered and reminds you of your Clive Owen tumblr account; thus, makes you want to rewatch Closer, which will keep you occupied for approximately four point three hours, which is also the exact time I need to finish programming this. And after that I’ll be free to hang out with you.”</p><p>“Damn! You know me so well.” Troy gets up and gives him a once over. “You're just too good at acting, man. Hey, is it weird to have a man-crush on Clive Owen?”</p><p>“It isn’t. I don’t get your particular fascination with that actor, but if it makes you feel better, my main celebrity crush is Harrison Ford.”</p><p>“Makes a lot of sense.”</p><p>“Not really. I don’t get all flustered whenever someone impersonates him.”</p><p>Troy steps closer, placing a hand on his neck. “Don’t get cocky, kid.”</p><p>It’s not a great imitation, but they are extremely close and the hand on his neck is so warm. Abed opens his mouth but says nothing. Troy laughs smugly, then claps him on the shoulder.</p><p>“Hah, can’t believe it worked! Well, I’m going to do exactly what you described. Catch you in five hours!”</p><p>Abed shakes his head, frowning. “Don’t get cocky, kid.” But Troy’s already out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>They are trying to build the largest house of cards to ever exist when Abed’s phone starts ringing.</p><p>“Can you answer for me,” Abed says, his tongue poking out due to the concentration to place the card on top of the others.</p><p>“On it.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>“Hello. This is Troy Barnes answering Abed Nadir’s phone,” he singsongs. “...Oh. Huh? Okay... Sure, I’ll tell him. Yes. Bye.”</p><p>Troy is silent for a while, so Abed looks up and raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“So? Was it anything important?”</p><p>“...So,” Troy articulates at last. His voice has taken that high-pitched quality. “This girl called and said she just found the hottest spot for secret sex.”</p><p>“Cool.” The house falls when Abed tries to add another card. He grunts. “Did she say when or where?”</p><p>“She said in Buzz Hickey’s office, in an hour.”</p><p>“Hm. That's an interesting setting. More risky than creative, I’d say. However, Hickey probably has handcuffs hiding somewhere in there. Nice.”</p><p>“What?! Abed, are you having secret kinky sex with someone?”</p><p>Abed cocks his head. “Yeah, I thought you had already caught up.”</p><p>“Woah, wait. Is that girl like, your girlfriend?”</p><p>“What? No.”</p><p>“Then, why are you…”</p><p>“...Having casual sex? Why wouldn’t I?”</p><p>“You're right. Oh my god, why am I so shocked? It’s just. I know you always have your little cool side adventures, but I hadn’t noticed them in a while?”</p><p>“Don't worry. Marie is not going to become a recurrent character. I just kept this particular narrative offscreen because my brief and intense connections with blonde, quirky girls would otherwise become a rather repetitive plot B.”</p><p>“<em>Marie</em>,”</p><p>“Yeah, Marie.”</p><p>“Her contact name in your phone is Irene Adler,”</p><p>“She is a lot into role play.”</p><p>“Damn. I just feel so weird about this and I don’t even know why. Why do I feel like, all tingly and kind of annoyed and also hungry?”</p><p>“Maybe you're just sexually frustrated since you broke up with Britta six months ago and haven’t had any other partner since.”</p><p>“You're probably right. Hey, why don’t you bring her home instead? Maybe I can meet her and stop being a jerk about it? Does she know about me? I mean, that you have like a super cool best friend and we live together? And well, with Annie, but you know-”</p><p>“She does. Everybody knows about Troy and Abed. We are on the cover of Friends Weekly.” Abed is unable to hide the fondness in his voice.</p><p>“Right. We are legends.” Troy grins dopily and reaches out to do their handshake. The contact lingers for just a second.</p><p>“Well, I should go get dressed. Anyway, this house of cards isn’t working.”</p><p>“Yeah, of course.”</p><p>Abed gets up and Troy follows him into the blanket fort.</p><p>“So, you won’t bring her here?”</p><p>“I thought we had a rule of no sex in the apartment?”</p><p>Abed opens the closet, looking for a pair of jeans. Troy doesn’t respond so he turns to look at him. He looks guilty.</p><p>“It’s okay. My rules tend to be non-negotiable, but this one changed because when you had sex with Britta here you already had your own room. It was kind of the whole point of taking down the Dreamatorium; to give you personal space. The blanket fort, on the other hand, is almost common space. For instance, right now. You got in here without even asking -” Troy is about to interrupt to apologize, probably, but Abed holds out a hand. “It’s fine. I really enjoy your company at all times. I have no problem with it; on the contrary, I encourage it. But when we originally created that rule, it was because we shared a room, so it would have been invasive and maybe awkward to bring outsiders in here.”</p><p>“Oh. So, the rule only applies to the blanket fort now?”</p><p>“All the common spaces; meaning the living room, the kitchen, maybe the bathroom although I know you and Britta also had sex in there once -”</p><p>“Oh god, I feel so guilty now! This is like so unfair to you. I mean, Annie also has a room so the rule doesn’t apply to her either? You're the only one who is restricted!”</p><p>“I doubt that Annie would have sex with us being here anyway. It’s not her style.”</p><p>Troy agrees.</p><p>“Well, have fun, then. Are you going to wear the panda shirt? That one looks great on you!”</p><p>“Yeah, I like that one too. But I think I’m going to wear a plain black shirt this time. Matches more the theme.”</p><p>“Do you think she's gonna be dressed like a sexy cop or something? That'd be so hot!” Troys asks, laying down on the bottom bunk.</p><p>“I’m not sure. Maybe she will. Although in general, I initially prefer girls in soft sweaters.”</p><p>“I know right!” Troy sits up animatedly. “It’s just so nice to feel them all warm and cozy!”</p><p>“Yeah, you want them to be comfortable,” Abed adds. Because he remembers every little thing that Troy shares with him.</p><p>“Exactly! Pajamas are such a turn on, man.”</p><p>They smile, agreeing. Then Abed registers that Troy is wearing his fuzzy yellow sweater, and that he is still in his green pajamas. They probably notice it at the same time, and stare silently at each other for approximately 46 seconds.</p><p>Troy scratches his neck awkwardly. “Okay, so, good luck. I’ll let you get changed.”</p><p>“Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”</p><p>Troy exits the blanket fort. It takes Abed a few seconds more to regain focus again. He eventually puts on the panda shirt, and tries to think only of the romantic interest scripted for this episode as he heads out.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Do I really have to look at the coffin?” Troy’s voice is so small when he says that.</p><p>“No, Troy. It’s not obligatory.” Shirley reassures, patting his arm.</p><p>“I would recommend you to do it, anyway. It’s okay if you don’t want to, but it gives closure.”</p><p>“Britta, this is not the moment to be playing psychologist,” Annie reprimands.</p><p>“I think Britta is right, for once." Jeff concedes. "We all have to acknowledge the fact that Pierce died. Even if he will allegedly be floating in this lava lamp until Buddha comes back to melt us.”</p><p>“I can do it for you.” Abed offers. “Just tell me whatever you want me to say to him and I’ll do it.”</p><p>Troy lets out a sigh of relief.</p><p>“Just tell him that I’m grateful for everything he did for me. And that I’m sorry if I was kind of a dick sometimes. Except when he deserved it, ‘cause in those cases I don’t take it back. But in general. He was the weird, creepy, wealthy uncle I never knew I needed.”</p><p>Abed nods. He repeats Troy’s little speech word by word to Pierce’s immobile frame.</p><p>“I’m aware I should be crying because this is a funeral scene. But I’m not. And I won’t even pretend or force myself to do it. I know you never understood me, and that’s okay. You didn’t have to. You understood Troy, and you helped him, and that helped me in turn. I’m grateful. Your absence will be noted, whether for better or worse. That’s all I have to say.”</p><p>He feels a light touch on his back. It’s Annie. She looks specially pretty and small in her mourning clothes. Abed hugs her, because he knows she needs it. Her hair smells like the shampoo in their apartment.</p><p>“Abed, we are going outside to get some air. Do you want to stay by the coffin a little longer?”</p><p>“Yeah. Just a few minutes more.”</p><p>“Don’t worry. We’ll be right there if you need us.”</p><p>She squeezes his hand and leaves. Troy waves at him from the door. He waves back, and then turns to try to get his tracking device back.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Troy is leaving. Of course he is. Abed has been preparing himself for this moment almost since the first time they did their handshake. And he’s still not ready.</p><p>He wakes up early to plan the game of The Floor Is Lava. It’s going to be great. It’s going to be special, and heart-warming, and it’s going to evolve into a post-apocalyptic scenario. He gets up, eats a bowl of Lucky Charms, takes a bath and dresses almost mechanically. He finally tip-toes into Troy’s room, careful not to wake him up.</p><p>He doesn’t walk in. He just looks at Troy sprawled in bed, sleeping with his mouth open and his Inspector Spacetime pajama top all wrinkled, and his chest hurts so, so bad. He is frozen in place and it gets difficult to breathe. This room is actually the Dreamatorium, or at least it was, so it might still have some magic on it. Maybe if he looks at it real hard he can keep this image tattooed in his brain forever. He can pin this memory in his mind so that every time he opens the door he'll find Troy drooling on the pillow, breathing peacefully with the blanket wrapped around his ankles.</p><p>Troys is leaving. And all Abed will have left is this hole in his chest, and this memory that will start fading as soon as he closes the door.</p><p>“You won’t come back, will you?” He whispers.</p><p>The floor starts to open up and he can see boiling lava coming out of the cracks. Troy is safe, floating in the safety of his bed. Completely unaware, as always. But Abed has to escape. He locks the door behind him, without getting the chance to say goodbye to Troy’s peaceful frame, and runs, and runs, and doesn't stop running until he's on Greendale, safely perched on the Dean's desk, ready to announce the rules of the game.</p><p><br/>
<span class="st">*</span>
</p><p>Troy is informed via text that LeVar Burton is sailing with him. They don’t tell the rest of the group so it’s more surprising. Abed is helping Troy overcome his fear of disappointing his childhood idol.</p><p>“Hello, I’m LeVar Burton.”</p><p>“Hi, I’m - “</p><p>“You're?”</p><p>“I am…”</p><p>“I’ve been told your name is Troy,” Abed prompts. “My name is LeVar Burton. The one and only. I’m going to be with you on your trip, next to you the whole time, singing for you to sleep -”</p><p>“Oh my god! Don’t! Don’t sing me to sleep!”</p><p>“Why? I thought you might enjoy -”</p><p>“Just don’t!” Troy yells. He looks extremely distressed. Abed breaks character and sits next to him.</p><p>“How will I be able to do this?”</p><p>“We can keep practicing. We still have five hours until you have to leave.”</p><p>“What if I never stop being weird around him even if I’m Clone Troy? What does it have to - Why can’t it just be <em>you</em> sailing with me?”</p><p>Abed sighs and rubs Troy’s back. He relaxes a bit. “That would defy the whole purpose of the trip. The idea is for you to find your individuality. Me going with you would just mess it up completely. And then it wouldn’t be worth it.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right, I just - I really want to do it. But also I just want it to be over already so I can have all that experience and all that money and be back here with you.”</p><p>“It’s not going to be the same.” Abed reminds him. Mostly is a reminder to himself. He hates change. But if Troy needs it, he’ll support it. Because friends support each other no matter what.</p><p>Troy exhales. “No, it’s not.”</p><p>“Let’s keep trying.”</p><p>“Okay, yeah.” Troy stands. Abed stands in front of him and offers his hand.</p><p>“Good morning! I’m LeVar Burton.”</p><p>“Hi, I’m Troy Barnes and I’m <em>so</em> no intimidated by you.”</p><p>“That’s great! Now we can really get to know each other. Tell me, what’s your favorite food? By the way, I’m LeVar Burton.”</p><p>“I - Damn it! Abed, why do you have to be so good at impersonating actors?”</p><p>Abed breaks character again. Troy's expression is a mixture between melancholic and adoring; it makes him want to drop all pretense, and then recreate that trope of leaving a trail of clothes leading to the bed.</p><p>“It requires a lot of observation.”</p><p>“Of course.” Troy says. “I’m gonna miss you acting like Clive Owen out of nowhere.”</p><p>Abed raises a hand to touch Troy's face, his fingertips caressing his ear and his cheekbone faintly. “You know what I think?” He leers.</p><p>“Oh, and there it is again!” Troy grins, leaning into his touch. “I always secretly loved it.”</p><p>Abed huffs a laugh, Troy’s head pressed into his palm.</p><p>“I’m gonna miss it too. I doubt there will be another scenario in which I will have to impersonate him.”</p><p>Abed puts his hand down. Troy plops back on the couch and pulls Abed with him. They sit next to each other, Troy’s arm resting around his shoulders.</p><p>“We always had kind of a thing going on, didn’t we?”</p><p>Abed examines him for a minute. He contemplates the difference between having<em> a thing going on</em> and being catastrophically in love.</p><p>“Have you ever thought how that would go, Troy?”</p><p>“Like, us dating?”</p><p>“Yes. You and I involved both romantically and sexually. Have you ever considered it?”</p><p>“Yeah. Kinda. A little. Sometimes a lot? Sometimes not at all. Depending on the day, and the setting. I mean - have you?” Troy rambles nervously, which would generally be amusing but this time is just heartbreaking.</p><p>“Of course. It makes sense, narratively.” Abed turns to face him completely. “We would have made a montage of the people we know reacting to us dating, and an entirely emotional episode of us revealing our romantic relationship to my dad and Nana Barnes respectively.”</p><p>“Yeah!” Troy laughs. “And we would’ve had even better Halloween costumes. And then we would use those costumes to hook up, which would be extra awesome!”</p><p>Abed smiles. “No doubt. And you would help me fill my list of weird places to have sex, and we would consequently eliminate the rule of no sex in the blanket fort.”</p><p>“Oh God. Then why the hell didn’t we do it all this time?”</p><p>“Because now, picture this, Troy.” Abed makes the special-for-voice-over gesture with his hands. “Us sleeping together would mean us getting used to waking up together every morning. Us getting used to casual touches, making out whenever we want, sharing clothes, we would even have a joint bank account, shared life-time goals, non-annoying petnames. We would be even more connected, infinitely closer. We would achieve a level of intimacy and emotional codependency from where there’s no coming back.”</p><p>“What - Now that you say it like that it actually sounds incredibly great and kind of inevitable?”</p><p>“It was almost inevitable. But we managed to avoid it. Just like we avoided jumping the shark when there was a risk of it.”</p><p>“But you were wrong about that!”</p><p>“I actually wasn’t. At that precise moment in time, moving together would have been a bad idea. But then a season later we had already known each other better and there was no risk.”</p><p>“So,” Troy frowns. “You're saying that we could have been dating and living the ultimate Troy and Abed unleashed experience all this time but we just didn’t?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Why?!”</p><p>“Troy, you can't miss something you never had.”</p><p>“And so what? I just- I don’t get it! I feel… robbed!”</p><p>“You're bound to leave. This is not me being self-deprecating, or me trying to make you feel guilty. This is what was obvious from the beginning: Since the day we met we’ve been saying goodbye. Because it’s just too good to be true.”</p><p>“Wait. That’s so not true, and also super touching and poetic at the same time.”</p><p>“It is true.” Abed says. “You just never noticed. But it’s okay. You will leave, because it’s what follows in the plot. Don’t you see it? This is the climax of your story. And whether this is the end of Troy and Abed or we get to see each other again, we will be able to survive it. I- I can barely deal with this as it is. I can't even fathom -”</p><p>“It’s not gonna be the end, buddy.”</p><p>“You don’t know that. Nobody knows that. I've predicted several scenarios, but with you wandering around the world and me having such an uncertain job future, the possibilities are almost endless.”</p><p>Troy rests his elbows on his knees and holds his own face. He looks extremely distressed, again. Abed feels the same, but with the bonus of guilt. Against his better judgement, he reaches out and curls his palm in Troy’s neck, his thumb caressing lightly the collar of his blue hoodie. Troy turns his head slightly, and his mouth find his palm to press a kiss on it. Abed’s heart pounds painfully in his chest. He thinks that, for almost the first time ever since he can remember, he is going to cry. He still doesn’t.</p><p>“Troy. We complement each other perfectly. We have infinite chemistry. We already love and depend on each other too much to be healthy. What we had, and still have in this moment, is precious. You're the most important person in the world to me. You were my first friend, and my first accomplice, and the only person that truly gets me. You were the first person who actually accepted to build a blanket fort with me, the first person to laugh with me and not<em> at</em> me, and the first and only person I ever let use me as a pillow. We have absolutely nothing to regret. You're going to grow incredibly as a person on that trip, and you're going to have a lot of cool adventures, and hijinks, and you’ll get to hang out with LeVar Burton.”</p><p>Troy shakes his head, smiling through the tears. His lips still brush Abed’s hand.</p><p>“I - I don’t know what I’m going to do without you, Abed. I don’t even understand how I feel right now. And you seem like you already sorted it all out before.”</p><p>“Troy,” Abed says, letting his hand fall to his shoulder. “I created a whole metaphor-game of the floor is lava to prevent you from leaving. I’m - not that sorted out. But I also came to terms with it a long time ago. The only thing that matters is that your place in my life is never gonna change or be occupied by someone else, even if I try. So if you get to come back, I’ll be waiting for you. Whether it’s in here, or in Poland, or in space.”</p><p>Troy nods and then pulls Abed into a hug and clings to him to the point where it hurts. Abed prefers that pain to the feeling of a hole in his chest.</p><p>“I love you so, <em>so</em> fucking much, man.”</p><p>“I know.” Abed says, and he doesn't even recognize his own voice. “I love you too.”</p><p>“What happens in those scenarios you have predicted?” Troy says, his voice muffled in his shirt.</p><p>“In one, you shipwreck like Robinson Crusoe and then become the leader of a wild tribu of children like in The Lord of the Flies.”</p><p>“Aw, I haven’t seen those movies.”</p><p>“Those are originally books.”</p><p>“Uh. Boring.”</p><p>Abed shrugs.</p><p>“What happens to you in that scenario?”</p><p>“I stay working in the falafel shop, and adopt a pet snake.”</p><p>“Hm. Is there a better scenario?”</p><p>“There’s this one in which you get captured by pirates in the Gulf of Mexico while I’m being a successful director in L.A.”</p><p>“How is that any better?!" Troy cries. "I don't know how to use a sword! Hey - if I got captured by pirates, you'd notice and send help, right? I mean, I feel protected only by your tracking device!”</p><p>“Yes. In that scenario, I get to rescue you personally.”</p><p>“Woah, really? You would leave your director career to go and save me in the Golf of Mexico?”</p><p>“Gulf. And, in that scenario, it's precisely because of my career that I’m able to do it. I’ll explain it better when it happens.”</p><p>Troy finally lets go of him. He isn’t crying anymore, which is a relief. Abed’s heart can’t handle a sight like that right now.</p><p>“Do you really think it’s going to happen?”</p><p>“Eighty-two percent of probability. But I’ll do everything I can to move to L.A so it can be possible” Abed makes finger guns and Troy laughs.</p><p>“Nice. And will it be okay for us to be together then? I mean, you coming to rescue me, wouldn’t just alter the natural course of the matrix?”</p><p>“No. We will both have reached an acceptable level of character development by then. We will have lived our own experiences, met different people, been forced to insert ourselves in scenarios we would not have done while being together because of the Troy-and-Abed comfort zone. Also, if you're in the Gulf of Mexico that would mean you're already on your way back home, or that you actually never got that far from America, which I doubt. Anyway, If we can get through all that, then there's no reason to force a separation a second time. We would organically spin-off.”</p><p>Troy smiles and lays his head on Abed’s shoulder. “I really hope that happens. Can you make that wish on Greendale’s fountain for me tomorrow?”</p><p>“Definitely.”</p><p>Troy’s phone rings. He takes it out and opens his eyes a lot when he sees the incoming call.</p><p>“Is it LeVar Burton?”</p><p>“It is.”</p><p>“Go answer. You can do it.” Abed pats his shoulder.</p><p>“Yeah,” Troy nods. “I can.”</p><p>Troy gets up and leaves the room to answer the phone. Abed closes his eyes and puts his hand over his heart. It’s beating soothingly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Clone Troy.”</p><p>“Clone Abed.”</p><p>“By the way, when I cloned you, I had to patch some missing parts of your DNA with genes from a homing pigeon. You may notice side effects, like a compulsion to come back.”</p><p>“Cool. Clone hug?”</p><p>When they hug, Abed plants another tracking device on Troy. Abed has to be sure. He didn’t even have the money to buy another one. He sold his number one issue of Space Clone in order to afford it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Troy Barnes [6:04 p.m]: So, I called you and this chick Rachel answered your phone and said that you were buying pickles or something? But you kind of hate pickles so maybe it was a code for condoms?</p><p>Troy Barnes [6:04 p.m]: She sounds nice, tho. And she got my Inspector Spacetime joke, so I like her. Not that it matters. Just wanted to point it out, you know, that I’m like super cool with it and I’m glad you're still having cool side adventures.</p><p>Troy Barnes [6:05 p.m]: Anyway! This is what I wanted to show you and I have to send it now before we sail again and I lose the internet connection.</p><p>Troy Barnes [6:08 p.m]: I’m in London, Inspector! [Image attached]</p><p>Abed waits until Rachel is asleep to read Troy’s texts. He opens the image. It’s a picture of Troy in front of the exact same building that appears in the first episode of Inspector Spacetime. He looks happy, and a little stubbly. Abed strokes the screen lightly with his thumb.</p><p>Abed Nadir [12:34 a.m]: It’s not code. Although it would be a great one.</p><p>Abed Nadir [12:34 a.m]: More like small, wholesome adventures. Mostly Plot C material. We were watching Rick and Morty and decided to make an actual Pickle Rick. Not that creative, I know, but I’ve been running out of ideas lately.</p><p>Abed Nadir [12:34 a.m]: It does matter, by the way. Nice photo, Constable. Enjoy!</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Abed takes care of the birds with Elroy, and it’s very nice and moving and a great opportunity to bond with a newly introduced character, but two of the baby birds die anyway, which is fairly depressing.</p><p>“Are we going to make a public funeral for the birds?” Elroy asks.</p><p>“We can just bury them.”</p><p>“I agree. But a funeral would be nice to honor them. You were quite fond of them.”</p><p>“You too.” Abed cocks his head.</p><p>“Yes, but they were yours.”</p><p>“They weren’t mine. They were their mother’s.”</p><p>Elroy shrugs, but he doesn’t seem particularly disappointed. “As you wish.”</p><p>“Fine. Let’s do it. What about the one that’s left?”</p><p>“Do you want to keep it?”</p><p>Abed turns to the cage in Elroy’s night-stand. The bird is chirping quietly.</p><p>“We have to let him go.”</p><p>Elroy nods. “Correct. The natural order of things.”</p><p>Abed smiles at the bird as it flies away. He had secretly named it Reggie. He thinks about the game of the floor is lava, and wonders if this is the last time he’ll have to orchestrate a whole event as a preambule to let go.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>He hasn’t told the Saving Greendale Committee about his plans to move to Los Angeles. He also hasn't heard of Troy in a while.</p><p>He opens his laptop. He remembers the time of the whole email leaking incident, when Frankie confessed that she always wrote emails to her deceased sister in order to cope with her absence.</p><p>from: abed.nadir2009@greendale.com<br/>
to: troy.buttsoup.barnes@greendale.com</p><p>Hey, Troy. I hope you're doing great. I hope you're hydrated, and happy, and having great, unique experiences. On the other hand, I secretly hope something dramatic and terrible happens to you so you have to come back to me. Which makes me a horrible friend, but that’s fine because you will never read this email. Anyway. I’m working towards our ideal timeline, in which I become a genius director living in L.A. It’s working out pretty well. I made a horrendous movie in Greendale starring Jeff and an unnecessary monologue that ultimately helped him overcome his unhealthy obsession with Chris Pratt. And now I'll be moving in a few weeks. We all miss you all the time. (Or do I mean, all the<em> space?</em>) Especially me and Annie. She had a super cuddly, clingy season, in which she slept on the bottom bunk every night. In retrospect, maybe she was doing that for me. Interesting. In summary, she will be moving because she too got a job offer. The Greendale series are going to be officially over. However, I’m not giving up on our spinoff just yet. P.S: Nana Barnes misses you a lot too, but she expresses it getting crankier every time I come to check up on her. I do it every last Sunday of the month. Last time I went she patted my hand, but it probably was because I brought her falafel.</p><p>He almost sends the email. But then he opens the app in which he keeps track of Troy and stares blankly at the red spot glowing far, far away, somewhere near Norway.</p><p>“Good night, Troy.” He whispers to himself and closes both tabs.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Troy’s internet connection is always terrible. Abed doesn't expect Troy to call him often, because it's too complicated and unlikely, let alone attempt to do a video call, which is even more impossible. It's better to let things go at their own pace, even if it's painful and tedious and hopeless. But sometimes Troy tries even harder because he has something too interesting to share with him, or he simply claims he can't go on any longer without talking to Abed.</p><p>“... and the cat bit me… old lady….. crabs…… LeVar Burton toilet!”</p><p>This time the only thing coming in are cut messages. It's impossible to get the real story, but in the privacy of his L.A apartment, Abed smiles until his cheeks hurt. It's the simple pleasure of hearing his voice.</p><p>“Did the old lady have crabs?”</p><p>“No!” Troy's laughter can barely be heard, but Abed still gets the warmth of it. Just a ghost of the real thing.</p><p>“I got a promotion,” Abed shares, opening his box of take-out food. “And a hamster that looks very much like a rat. You would hate it.”</p><p>“.... disgusting…. dogs… pop-corn…. robots!”</p><p>“I didn’t get half of that, but I agree.”</p><p>“... miss… Abed…. squirrel…. taco… bye…”</p><p>“Bye, Troy." Abed responds, but the line has cut off already.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="st">*</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hello. Waiting for someone?”</p><p>“Abed?!" Troy shrieks. “Abed, it's you! <em>What the actual fuck!</em> Am I hallucinating?! Is this really the Gulf of Mexico, then? I wasn’t sure! But I knew you would come! Oh, shit, is that Jeff dressed as a pirate? Why does he have a beard! And what the hell, Britta is not blonde anymore! Wait - did you all come here in a boat? Where is it? How did you even manage to do that? It has taken us two whole years - wait, could you untie me, please?”</p><p>Abed does. His hands are sweaty, and trembling horribly, but he does. Troy wraps himself around him instantly. He has definitely grown stronger and tougher in the past two years, and his embrace is almost crushing him. He doesn’t complain.</p><p>“Abed! I just can’t believe you're here!” Troy actually lifts him and spins him a couple times as if he were just a giant plushie. “Your hair is longer! You kind of have<em> curls</em>! Damn! How did you even -”</p><p>Abed puts one hand on each side of Troy's neck. “I noticed through the tracking device that you were taking an abnormal time in the Gulf of Mexico sector, so I told Annie, who now works for the FBI, and then they found the link between the pirates and the kidnappers that were demanding a bribe to free LeVar Burton. So I went back to Colorado to put into action this elaborate heist involving every single pirate costume the Dean had, and Frankie getting us a helicopter through her really influential yet mysterious girlfriend -”</p><p>“Who’s Frankie?” Troy asks. His eyes are crinkling beautifully, the sun is dazzling, and the skin of his neck is somehow rougher and warmer than it used to be.</p><p>“Doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you all later in a way that makes more sense, and probably with a montage and visual footage because Pavel is also here and has been documenting everything. He is part of my official crew now. I have material for a whole documentary after all of this. There’s a lot of people here, did you notice? They are all fighting the pirates in the background.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t we be fighting the pirates, too? I mean, I really want to punch them. I have a lot of adrenaline right now. Is LeVar okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, he is somewhere offscreen. We actually went to help him first because he was the one in imminent danger. They just had you tied to this tree for weeks?”</p><p>“Nah. Actually, not at all. Pirates are not like in the movies, you know? These ones were just like thugs and kept me in a room with terrible food and no Wi-Fi.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know. I asked some stuntmen to tie you to this tree so the scene of me rescuing you would be more dramatic. I also hired fake pirates to keep the study group busy while we had an emotional reunion scene. They don’t know they are fake. The real ones are being handled by the FBI, including Annie.”</p><p>“Damn. You just got cooler with every second we spent apart!”</p><p>“Meh. I had some boring moments.<em> You</em> got ripped, and by that I mean both your clothes and your muscles. Also you got a beard. And a tattoo. Nice.”</p><p>“Yes! Do you like it?”</p><p>“I’d have to examine it closely. I’m currently being distracted by the blazing sun, and your lack of proper clothes, and your beard, and the overwhelming urge to kiss you.”</p><p>“I thought you wouldn’t kiss a dude with a be -” Abed doesn’t let him finish. He puts a hand on Troy’s waist and pulls him in. He kisses back instantly; his lips are chapped and taste like salt. Even though he has his eyes closed, Abed feels dazzled.</p><p>They break apart and Troy smiles sunnily, his hands firmly placed on Abed’s hips.</p><p>“Pavel, did you get that on camera? That’s going to be the poster of the movie.”</p><p>“Aye, aye, captain.”</p><p>“This pirate dude just told me he is an actor! What the hell, Abed?” Abed turns to look at Jeff. He looks scratched and exasperated.</p><p>“What? You're actors?!” Britta yells. All the fake pirates drop the act instantly. “Non-existent-Jesus! Abed, was this all some sort of exaggerated homage?”</p><p>“Not entirely.”</p><p>“Wait, it’s Troy!”</p><p>“Troy? Oh, it really is Troy! What the hell, how can you have bigger biceps than <em>me</em>?!”</p><p>Troy exhales, relieved. “There it is. For a moment I was afraid I was a ghost that only Abed could see or something.”</p><p>They all run to hug him dramatically, squeezing him until he can’t breathe. Jeff just hovers around awkwardly without actually joining the group hug, but the smile in his face shows all the contained emotion. They break apart eventually, and start talking animatedly at the same time and at different levels.</p><p>Troy seems to have muted everyone except Abed; the entire world dissapearing around them. It's the perfect slow-mo take. All Troy does is to laugh and search for Abed’s eyes, extending his arm for a handshake. Abed complies, and the heartbeat under the palm of his hand is not steady this time: It beats pleasantly faster than ever.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Disclaimer: English is not my first language (I actually speak spanish, you can call me El Tigre), so I apologize for any grammar mistakes. However, I'm an English major, so I really hope it wasn't that terrible. Writing this was a lot of fun. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Comments are very much appreciated. Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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